2dads Blog

Oh wow! It has been so long!

JoeJeanCharles — 2009-08-09T21:02:00Z

So sorry that the blog has been abandoned... We have been very busy, and little time for the blog, now as family of FOUR! We adopted a gorgeous baby girl on March 10, 2009. Liliana is her name! Liliana is adorable and we are very happy! She will be 5 months next week!

Facebook is sort of taking some time away from us as well. If you are a friend from the blog, you can find me there with the screen name jeancharles1 -- But I'm trying to keep it locked and private, so please only send a friend request if your profile is not empty or if you are not hiding your identity behind a picture of a dog, car or butterfly!

A Merry Little Christmas (video)

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-12-31T19:46:00Z

A Merry Little Christmas

A video about Sara and her reactions to Christmas Day / 2008.

Enjoy!

You can view this video in HD quality picture directly in youtube. The link to this video is: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThoW342c9hc

Our 2008 Christmas Tree

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-12-22T17:10:00Z

Merry Christmas! Feliz Natal!
A video with the story of our Christmas tree for the 2008 Holiday Season.

We're looking to adopt our second child!

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-09-14T15:10:00Z

We are a loving family looking to adopt a newborn baby boy or girl.

If you know of anyone considering adoption as a choice for their newborn, we would appreciate you passing along the link to our website (http://www.joeandjeancharles.com).

We have been approved to be adoptive parents and will provide a complete profile of ourselves upon request.

We are working with Friends in Adoption (http://www.friendsinadoption.org/) and can be reached at: 1-800-844-3630 (24 hours/day • toll free)

Florida Judge Rules Gay Adoption Ban Unconstitutional

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-09-11T18:20:00Z

Florida Judge Rules Gay Adoption Ban Unconstitutional

A Florida judge has found the state's 31-year ban on gay adoptions to be unconstitutional, reports the Miami Herald. The ruling from Judge David Audlin Jr. will allow a gay Key West resident to adopt the teenage boy he has raised as a foster parent since 2001.

Judge Audlin said the adoption was in the child's "best interest" and asserted that barring gays from adopting conflicted with the state constitution since it targets a specific group for punishment. Audlin had appointed the foster father to be the boy's legal guardian in 2006. At a hearing earlier this year, the order says the boy testified that he wanted the man to be his "forever father...because I love him," the Herald reports.

''Contrary to every child welfare principle,'' Audlin wrote in his opinion, ''the gay adoption ban operates as a conclusive or irrebuttable presumption that...it is never in the best interest of any adoptee to be adopted by a homosexual.''

Florida and Mississippi are the only two states that currently forbid gays and lesbians from adopting children.

(The Advocate) - September 11, 2008

Sara's Second Birthday

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-08-10T21:46:00Z

Sara's second birthday party this year was at Locomotion, which especializes in parties for children up to seven years old. Sara and her little friends had a blast and we enjoyed it. The little mermaid, Ariel, was the theme of the cake and other goodies, and it was not a coincidence, as Sara's absolutely in love with beautiful Ariel.

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Em Português: O aniversário de dois aninhos da Sara, este ano, foi no salão Locomotion, que é especializado em festinhas para crianças de até 7 anos. Sara e os amiguinhos se deliciaram, e os adultos também se divertiram. Ariel, a pequena sereia, foi o tema da festa. E não poderia deixar de ser, afinal a Sara recentemente está completamente encantada com a linda Ariel.

A visit to Sesame Place (Vila Sésamo)

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-07-19T00:13:00Z

We had a blast at Sesame Place on July 17 and 18, in Langhorne, PA. It was one day after Joe's 39th birthday, but the 3 of us played like little kids at the many water rides available at the park. Sara loved meeting with the real Elmo, Abby Cadabby, Big Bird and all of their friends. It was a great family trip!

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Em Português:
Nos divertimos bastante no Parque da Vila Sésamo, na cidade de Langhorne, PA, nos dias 17 e 18 de Julho. Viajamos um dia após o 39ª aniversário do Joe, mesmo assim nós 3 brincamos feito criança nos vários brinquedos gigantes e molhados do parque. Sara adorou conhecer pessoalmente o verdadeiro Elmo, a fadinha Abby Cadabby, o Garibaldo e todo o resto da turma. Foi um passeio e tanto.

Sara (and us) having fun at Rye Playland

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-06-13T01:50:00Z

Sara and us having fun at Rye Playland.

Sara e nós no parque Playland, em Rye (New York):

Domingo no Park (Sunday at the Park)

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-03-02T19:30:00Z

Spending some time at a park nearby. Needless to say, Sara loves it and does not handle very well when it is time to leave the park. It is cold outside and we can't stay out for too long, so we are definetely looking forward to Spring.

Passeando na manhã de Domingo, em um parque perto de casa. Nem precisa dizer que a Sara não gosta da hora de ir embora, mas com o frio não dá pra ficar muito tempo. Não vemos a hora de chegar a Primavera.

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Local same-sex couples and their children make the news

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-02-24T18:38:00Z

Our local newspaper, The Journal-News, published today a great front-page story about local same-sex couples raising their children. Below, an excerpt from the article. The full story, with links to the story of each family, plus interactive videos with the families, can be found here.

Also according to the Journal-News, some interesting statistics: Nationwide, 162,000 same-sex couples - about one in three of all gay female couples and one in five of all male couples who declared their relationship on census forms - were raising children at the end of the last decade, according to the 2000 census.

February 24, 2008

3 gay couples settle in as parents

Inside the contemporary wood-paneled house at 44 Ebenezer Lane in Pound Ridge, Travis Chaikin is finishing a pasta dinner and settling into Book One of the Bartimaeus Trilogy, an adventure book he is reading in his fifth-grade English class. Over the next hour or so, he bounces between the book and a Nintendo Wii video game on an oversized TV in the living room, where he squeezes between his parents on the couch as he works the controls.

"Reading he's good at," says Reed Chaikin, Travis' father. "Writing and spelling are the tough ones."

The competition between homework and video games isn't yet an issue inside another home in Montebello, where 4-year-old Eliana Assouline-Sampson and her 2-year-old twin brothers, Jonathan and David, are passing the evening working through their collection of rocking horses, stuffed animals, keyboards, scooters, tents, various balls and other toys, which sometimes go airborne across the living room.

A few minutes before 7 p.m., Eliana steps away from the din to remind her parents that a deadline is approaching.

"We're going to miss PBS if we don't turn the TV on," she says, referring to "Maya & Miguel," an animated series about twin children and their friends.

In the kitchen of a center-hall Colonial on Forestview Road in Valley Cottage, Dawn Sugrue lifts 4-year-old Jack onto the counter, strokes his spiky blond hair and pours him a glass of cranberry juice to wash down a dose of Motrin. Jack, who is running a slight fever, responds to his mother's tenderness by sneezing in her face.

"Three boys," says Joan Neuendorf, Sugrue's partner, looking on with half a grin as another son tries to fit in her lap. "Everybody asks if we want to have a girl. No. We don't."

Outside the three households, an American culture war rages over the rights of gay men and women to raise children.

Inside, these three have been raising theirs for as long as a decade - monitoring their homework, burying them in toys, treating whatever troubles them and living lives they say are not much different from the lives led by the families next door.

This month, a state appeals court in Rochester began erasing the last legal differences between families headed by gay and straight couples with a unanimous ruling that New York must recognize same-sex marriages that are legally performed elsewhere, including Massachusetts, the only state to recognize such marriages, and Canada, South Africa and Spain.

The scope of the ruling was both limited and far-reaching: Gay couples still may not marry in New York, and the ruling will have no impact on federal policies that don't recognize same-sex marriages. But in New York, the ruling, if it stands, will provide families headed by gay couples who married elsewhere with rights they've so far been denied. Many of the rights will make it easier for gay couples to raise children, mostly by providing them with the financial security that comes from sharing resources such as a house or a health plan without paying state inheritance or income taxes on them.

Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, a New York City group that lobbies for the recognition of same-sex marriage, said the ruling will mean more to the children of gay couples than how the bills get paid.

"Beyond the tangible legal consequences, there's the intangible security that matters a lot to kids," Wolfson said. "Children whose parents are married have a legal relationship to both parents and are given a strong, clear confirmation from society that they and their parents form a family and that family is worthy of respect."

The Feb.4 ruling caused little of the stir that similar rulings have caused in other states, where gay marriage and adoption remain political and social fireballs. Florida and several other states already prohibit gay couples from adopting children. Many others, including New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, allow it.

"It's tragic for children when people purposely deprive them of either a mother or father," said Greg Scott, a spokesman for Alliance Defense Fund, an Arizona organization that advocates for conservative causes in the courts. "Not only does social science show, but common sense dictates that the best environment for kids is with a mother and father."

The American Academy of Pediatrics, which represents 60,000 pediatricians, and the American Psychological Association, which represents 148,000 psychologists, reject the notion that gay parents are wrong for kids. After examining 25 years of research in 2006, the pediatrics group concluded "there is no relationship between parents' sexual orientation and any measure of a child's emotional, psychosocial, and behavioral adjustment."

Sugrue put it another way.

"He'd say, 'How come I don't have a daddy?' " Sugrue said about talks she and Neuendorf have had with Aedan, their eldest, a 5-year-old kindergartner at Valley Cottage Elementary School. "We'd explain to him: 'There are a lot of different types of families in this world. As long as there's love in the family, that's all that matters.' "

Aedan reduced the sentiment even further.

"They take me to Chuck E. Cheese," he said when asked if he likes having two moms. "They let me watch TV. They take care of me when I'm sick."

The events of Sept. 11 pushed Craig Sampson, above, with 4-year-old daughter Eliana, and partner Maurice Assouline to start a family. They also have twin sons, 2. Details, 11A

Much thought and planning went into a decision by Joan Neuendorf, above, to have a family with Dawn Sugrue. They have three sons, Aedan, 5, and twins Jack and Hunter, 4. Details, 10A

Checking out the snow (or a day at the mall)

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-02-24T03:17:00Z

Snow Day 2/23/08 9:56 PM

Today we spent our Saturday evening at the mall. Sara loves the openess of the mall, and she LOVES to check out all the stuff for sale at the stores... Shopping is definetely something she likes to do, even at 18 months of age!

Before we left the house, a photo op in front of our house. It looked really pretty today with the snow everywhere.

At the mall, we ran into Sergio and Lisandra (Jean's uncle and his wife). It was a funny coincidence, because I had just mentioned to Joe that no matter how often we go to the Palisades Mall, we never ever run into anyone we know, because the mall is so big and so crowded that the odds are just against everybody. I said that and of course there was Sergio, staring at us. It's a small world, after all.

Em Português: Hoje foi dia de ir ao shopping center! A Sara adora o espaço, enorme, correndo pra baixo e pra cima até cair de cansaço (bem, a gente cai muito mais antes que ela).

A Sara também adora fazer compras, hah hah! Ainda bem que ela ainda não sabe que precisa passar no caixa pra terminar de efetuar a compra. Mas ela adora as coisinhas de menina. Vê uma bolsa e vai logo pegando e falando "pretty", depois faz pose. Isto aos 18 meses, imagina quando entender que pode comprar e levar pra casa... vai ser uma roubada só! rsrs

Antes de sair pro shopping, aproveitamos e pra tirar umas fotos na frente da nossa casa, pois está tudo branquinho lá fora devido à uma tempestade de neve que aconteceu ontem. O dia estava lindo hoje, apesar da neve em todo o lugar.

E no shopping, aconteceu um fato engraçado. É um dos maiores shopping centers do mundo, e eu falei para o Joe a seguinte frase: "Não adianta quantas vezes a gente vem aqui, é tanta gente, tantas lojas e tantos andares que simplesmente nunca vamos nos deparar com alguém que conhecemos." Foi só eu falar isso prá eu pagar na mesma hora, dando de cara com o meu tio Sérgio e sua esposa, Lisandra. Conversamos um pouco e eles aproveitaram para tirar uma casquinha da Sara. Êta mundo pequeno!

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P.S. : There are photos, above, and they should be loading as a slide show. I am not sure why they are not showing in certain web browsers. To see the pictures, just click on "View Album" and the link should take you to our web album.

State Court Recognizes Gay Marriages From Elsewhere

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-02-04T16:08:00Z

February 2, 2008

State Court Recognizes Gay Marriages From Elsewhere

By ROBERT D. McFADDEN

A New York appellate court ruled Friday that valid out-of-state marriages of same-sex couples must be legally recognized in New York, just as the law recognizes those of heterosexual couples solemnized elsewhere. Lawyers for both sides said the ruling applied to all public and private employers in the state.

Even though gay couples may not legally marry in New York, the appellate court in Rochester held that a gay couple’s 2004 marriage in Canada must be respected under the state’s longstanding “marriage recognition rule,” and that an employer’s denial of health benefits had discriminated against the couple on the basis of their sexual orientation.

“The Legislature may decide to prohibit the recognition of same-sex marriages solemnized abroad,” a five-judge panel of the Appellate Division of State Supreme Court ruled unanimously in rejecting a 2006 lower court decision. “Until it does so, however, such marriages are entitled to recognition in New York.”

For more than a century, the court noted, New York State has recognized valid out-of-state marriages. Moreover, it said that the Court of Appeals, the state’s highest judicial body, has said the Legislature may enact laws recognizing same-sex marriages. “In our view, the Court of Appeals thereby indicated that the recognition of plaintiff’s marriage is not against the public policy of New York,” the court held.

As a practical matter, the marriages of thousands of gay couples entered into outside the state have been recognized in recent years by many state and local agencies and by private employers for purposes of allowing health and life insurance coverage, child care and other benefits. But others have resisted doing so voluntarily, pending the outcome of numerous cases in the courts.

Friday’s ruling, legal experts said, was the first by an appellate division court, and would make the recognition of valid out-of-state gay marriages mandatory across New York. It was not clear whether Monroe County and Monroe Community College in Rochester, the employer in the case, would appeal.

Daniel DeLaus Jr., the county attorney for Rochester, said his office was reviewing the decision and would decide whether to seek an appeal.

Jeffrey Wicks, a lawyer who represents the plaintiff, Patricia Martinez, said that New York had recognized common-law marriages, even marriages of closely related people that might not be allowed in the state. “There’s a long tradition in New York of recognizing marriages that couldn’t be performed in New York,” he said.

The New York Civil Liberties Union, which represented Ms. Martinez, a word-processing supervisor at the college, hailed the ruling. The union called it “the first known decision in the country to hold that a valid same-sex marriage must be recognized.”

“This is a victory for families, it’s a victory for fairness and it’s a victory for human rights,” said Donna Lieberman, executive director of the N.Y.C.L.U. “Congratulations to all same-sex couples validly married outside of New York State: You are now husband and husband, wife and wife. Now we need to work toward a New York where you don’t have to cross state or country lines to get married.”

The New York City Council speaker, Christine C. Quinn, the first openly gay leader of the Council, also applauded the ruling. “If this is saying companies have to do it, it’s a tremendous step forward in recognizing the diversity of families in New York City.”

New York City already extends marriage benefits to workers in domestic partnerships, and under a law passed in 2002, it provides all city benefits and services to same-sex couples whose unions are recognized by other jurisdictions. But the city has no power to impose such rules on private companies.

In 2004, the Council adopted legislation sponsored by Ms. Quinn that would have required large companies doing business with the city to provide equal job benefits to domestic partners. Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg vetoed the bill, and while the Council overrode the veto, the mayor said it violated state and federal laws and would prove costly to taxpayers. He sued successfully to block it in a case decided in 2006 by the Court of Appeals.

Mayor Bloomberg’s office declined to comment on Friday’s ruling, saying it had not seen the decision.

Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo also declined to comment, noting that his office may be involved in an appeal as the traditional defender of state agencies. Monroe Community College is a branch of the State University of New York.

In the past, Mr. Cuomo has said that state law requires that marriages performed in other states, and in Canada, be recognized in New York.

In the case before the appellate division in Rochester, Ms. Martinez and her partner, Lisa Ann Golden, formalized their longstanding relationship in a civil union ceremony in Vermont in 2001, and were married in Ontario on July 5, 2004.

A few days later, Ms. Martinez applied to Monroe Community College for health care benefits for her spouse. In November 2004, the college’s director of human resources, Sherry Ralston, denied the application, contending that the state did not recognize the marriage as a matter of law and public policy.

Ms. Martinez sued in 2006, arguing that her constitutional and civil rights had been violated. A State Supreme Court justice, Harold Galloway, dismissed the lawsuit in August 2006, saying the state did not recognize same-sex marriages. The state, he wrote “currently defines marriage as limited to the union of one man and one woman.”

But the appellate court disagreed, citing the century-old “marriage recognition rule” applying to heterosexual couples and noting that the Court of Appeals had implied that the Legislature could adopt a law legalizing same-sex marriage.

In early 2006, the court said, Monroe Community College had begun extending health-care benefits to Ms. Golden under a new contract provision. However, the judges held, the plaintiff was entitled to unspecified monetary damages for the period during which the benefits were wrongly denied.

Danny Hakim and Ray Rivera contributed reporting.

Superbowl Sunday Fun

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-02-04T02:32:00Z

SuperBowl Sunday 2/3/08 5:17 PM

Photos from Superbowl Sunday. Need say more?

Fotos do Superbowl, o jogo anual da final do Futeból Americano, que praticamente pára os EUA todo mês de Fevereiro.

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Can't see the photos? Try this link. As fotos não estão aparecendo? Clique aqui.

Sara Olivia Youtube Player

JoeJeanCharles — 2008-01-15T20:03:00Z

Sara Olivia videos on youtube: All of Sara Olivia's videos, organized in one player window:

Todos os videos com a Sara Olivia, organizados em um player só. Coisas de youtube!

Atirei o Pau no Gato (The Yellow Cat)

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-12-14T21:40:00Z

Sara's favorite song is an old children's Portuguese "cantiga de roda" (chanting in circles) which is titled "Atirei o Pau no Gato" (I threw the stick on the cat).

This song has a great catchy tune but the lyrics are not very politically correct, so I came up with some fun English words in hopes that Sara will learn to sing the song in Portuguese and also in English. Time will tell. By the way, the lyrics and translation are below the video.

On the youtube video below, you can hear the song and see how Sara enjoys it. She usually applaude and cheer when I play this song on the piano. As far as Sara is concerned, one just can't stop her beat.

Em Português:

A canção favorita da Sara é Atirei o Pau no Gato, e aqui ela se diverte ao som da versão Português/Inglês que eu fiz pra ela. A versão em Inglês não é tradução, porém uma versão livre com jogo de rimas de palavras em Inglês. Simplesmente, é impossível traduzir a letra original da música, principalmente porquê não há como perpertuar a mensagem subliminar de desprezo e violência aos pobres gatos. Os gatofóbicos que me desculpem!

Letra da música                            Literal English Translation
Atirei o pau no gato,                      I threw the stick on the cat
mas o gato não morreu.                     but the cat didn't die.
Dona Chica admirou-se                      Dona Chica was surprised
do berro que o gato deu.                   of how loud the cat screamed.
Miau!                                      Meow!

Song Lyrics                                Tradução Literal
I took pictures of a yellow cat,           Eu tirei um retrato de um gato amarelo
with a round blue hat                      com um chapéu redondo azul
on a brown wool mat                        em um tapete de lã marrom
but the bright flash light                 mas a luz do flash, brilhante,
caught the cat off guard                   pegou o gato de surpresa
so it freaked out                          e ele se assustou
and it ran off to the yard.                e fugiu para o quintal.
Meow!                                      Miau!

This little piggy went to the market

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-12-01T23:34:00Z

Sara Olivia can't get enough of the poem "This Little Piggy".
See a sample of it in this very short youtube video:

Em Português:

Sara Olivia adora brincar de "This little piggy". Trata-se de um poema infantil, onde na última frase a criança recebe várias cosquinhas de quem está recitando o poema. Pode-se ver que a Sara já aprendeu que após o efeito tem consequência, pois ela sorri em antecipação às cosquinhas.

This Little Piggy went to the market      Este porquinho foi ao mercado
This Little Piggy stayed home                este porquinho ficou em casa
This Little Piggy had roast beef             este porquinho comeu o rosbife
This Little Piggy had none                     este porquinho não comeu nada
This Little Piggy cried "wee wee"          este porquinho chorou "wee wee"
all the way home.                                 até chegar em casa.

About this Blog

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-12-01T23:28:00Z

We are Joe & Jean-Charles, a NY couple looking
to adopt (well, we've adopted!). In this blog, we share our
memories related to the adoption process of our daughter Sara.

This blog is available in English and Brazilian Portuguese

Alguns tópicos disponíveis em Português

Visiting Brasil (part 2): The Photo Album

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-09-14T22:15:00Z

Finally, the album with the best photos from our Brasil trip:

Finalmente, fotos da viagem ao Brasil:

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Visiting Brazil (part 1): Vamos a la playa!

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-09-04T15:44:00Z

English: During August '07, we went to Brazil for a long-deserved vacation. We spent the entire trip at Jean's parents house, which was located near Praia Grande Beach. It was winter time in Brazil, but the sun was out, bright, and hot, and we were able to go to the beach a couple of days. It was Sara's first encounter with the ocean, and oh boy, she loved it. In this youtube video, you can see her reaction as she looks down to the ocean and begs to go to the water. Coming soon: Vacation pictures!

Português: Em Agosto de 2007, nós viajamos para o Brasil para uma longa e bem merecida férias. Passamos as férias nas casas dos pais do Jean, localizada perto da Praia Grande. Era inverno no Brasil, porém o sol estava brilhante e quente como sempre. Com isso, foi possível ir à praia durante alguns dias. Foi o primeiro encontro da Sara com o mar e ela simplesmente adorou a praia. Neste video do youtube, pode-se ver a reação dela ao olhar para o oceano e gritar a todo pulmão que ela não queria saber de areia, e sim de água! Em breve: fotos das férias.

Catching up

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-05-29T17:08:00Z

We've been busy and no time to blog, so here's a combined post with links to our most recent activities. Just click on the album covers to see lots and lots of pictures:

Memorial Day Weekend 2007

Susan, Jonnie and John

Em Português: O tempo não pára e a gente anda sem ter como postar. Mesmo assim, aqui vai uns links para os albums com fotos dos nossos últimos programas. Basta clicar nas fotinhas para ver muitas e muitas fotos. Abraços!

A short video about yesterday

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-05-11T04:39:00Z

I couldn't resist. Here's a short video that tells a little bit about Sara's adoption story.
If the youtube screen (above) will not work, try this one.

Sara's adoption decree was signed today!

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-05-10T01:35:00Z

Adoption Finalization Day!

"Sara's adoption is now final and irrevocable." With these words, Judge Donnelly signed her adoption decree early this morning at Marlborough District Court in Massachusetts.

We left home last night for a 3 hour trip to Marlborough and stayed at a Holiday Inn nearby, along with Joe's parents. We woke up early this morning, got ready and arrived at a beautiful town building at 8:30 a.m.

Sara's attorney, Karen, was already there waiting for us. We waited for about 15 minutes until we were called into the judge's chambers. The ceremony was very informal and the Judge was very friendly and laid back. Everything went very fast and much quicker than we ever imagined. Joe's father video taped the whole process and the tape is 5 minutes, 20 seconds long.

But what really matters is that today was a very important day in Sara's life. And for us, as parents, it is great to know that the adoption red tape is all over with and that from this point on we will have extra time to enjoy our lives as parents.

Click on the picture to see a lot more photos about this story. To see Sara's photo album about this and other events, click here

From Adoption Final...

Em Português: "Eu declaro esta adoção permanente e irrevogável." Após proferir estas palavras, o juiz Donnelly assinou o Decreto de Adoção de nossa filha Sara Olivia hoje pela manhã em uma corte (fórum) de Marlborough, estado de Massachusetts.

Para chegar lá, viajamos no dia anterior por 3 horas, e dormimos em um hotel localizado perto do fórum. Os pais do Joe também viajaram e nos encontramos no hotel. Acordamos bem cedo no dia 9 de Maio, nos arrumamos com terno e gravata, e chegamos ao fórum às 8:30 da manhã. Aproveitamos para tirar umas fotos do prédio do fórum, cuja arquitetura era muito elegante e bonita. A advogada da Sara já estava nos esperando no lobby.

Aguardamos por mais uns 15 minutos we então fomos chamados à câmera do juiz, para uma seção em particular. Este encontro foi bem informal e o juiz muito simpático e sem cerimônias. Tudo aconteceu muito rapidamente, bem mais depressa do que podíamos imaginar. O pai do Joe filmou a seção por inteiro e a duração exata da vita é de 5 minutos e 20 segundos.

Mas o quê realmente importa é que hoje foi um dia muito importante para a vida e futuro da Sara. E para nós, os pais, é aliviante saber que a burocracia do processo da adoção chegou ao fim e quê de agora em diante vamos ter um tempinho de sobra para dedicar à experiência de sermos pais.

Clique na foto para ver mais fotos sobre este assunto. Para ver fotos sobre outros tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou para visitar o album de fotos da Sara com fotos sobre outros eventos clique aqui.

Playland fun

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-05-06T03:28:00Z

From Playland Fun

What a beautiful Saturday morning it was today, a perfect time to enjoy Rye's Playland park. This was our first time joining the folks of Loft Kids, a local group of other gay and lesbian parents who organizes great get-togethers. We met a lot of great people at the park, as well as their children, and can't wait to attend their next event.

To see more photos from today, just click on the picture above or below.

From Playland Fun

Explaining the Subscribe tool

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-04-15T17:10:00Z

If you scroll down the menu side bar that appears on the left of this blog, you will notice a feature called "subscribe to Blog".

This is a nifty tool that will send you an instant e-mail message whenever I publish something new here. To respect your privacy, your subscription is anonymous and I don't get to see your email address.

The blog software takes care of sending you email notices automatically and the company I use is very reputable, so don't worry about getting spammed with junk messages.

Em Português: Se você der uma olhada no menu da barra esquerda, você descobrirá que este blog oferece uma ferramenta chamada "subscribe" (faça uma assinatura).

Esta ferramenta é bem interessante, pois ao assinar o blog você receberá e-mails instatâneos toda vez que eu publicar algo novo aqui. Vale lembrar que sua privacidade está protegida, pois sua assinatura é anônima e eu não tenho como ficar sabendo o seu endereço de e-mail.

O programa de software que faz este blog dá conta do recado e manda os emails pra você diretamente. A empresa que eu uso é de boa reputação, portanto não se preocupe em receber milhares de mensagens de spam.

Disney's Meet the Robinsons brings negative adoption message

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-04-13T15:29:00Z

The following press release was prepared by Vicki Peterson of Wide Horizons for Children. The release concludes with “Feel free to share this message with anyone you know who you feel might benefit from knowing about this warning.”

“We feel that it is important to warn you about a Disney movie called "Meet the Robinsons" that is now playing in many local cinemas. The advertising for this animated feature makes it sound like a great movie for any young child, but this is misleading. Fortunately, one of our adoptive parents alerted us about the negative adoption messages in the story and the very unhappy experience she had with both of her children who were greatly disturbed by the messages conveyed in this film. As a result, I went to see the film to decide if it warranted putting out an alert to our adoptive parent community. Indeed, I thought the concerns raised were completely justified.

The movie is filled with extraordinarily inappropriate messages about adoption. The basic story is about an adorable baby whose birthmother leaves him on the doorstep of an orphanage. Portrayed as loving, sweet, extremely smart and overly appealing, he spends the next 12 years of his life wanting a family and being turned down by one family after another. In all, more than 100 couples refuse to adopt him. One scene shows a prospective dad losing interest in adoption because this very smart little boy is more interested in science than sports. The prospective parents leave the disappointed child in an angry huff when he accidentally splatters them with some food from his science project. This is supposed to be funny.

Since no one else wants him, the child invents a time machine in order to go back in time to find his birth mother. The "bad guy" in his time travel journey turns out to be his best buddy from childhood, once his orphanage roommate. Now an emotional wreck resulting from being left behind when the orphanage was closed and shut down, the once-cute orphan is now mean and devious. Another chuckle. Various monsters attack the child as continues his birth mother search. You get the picture!

I found "Meet the Robinsons" to be both tasteless and totally insensitive regarding adoption issues. Please think very carefully before taking your child to see it, whether adopted or not. You may want to preview the movie yourself before deciding whether your child should see it or not. At the very least, help prepare your child by letting him or her know about the adoption theme before seeing it. It is important for our children to know that orphanages no longer exist in the U.S. and that the adoption process is totally different from what is portrayed in this "pretend" movie. I will write the Disney Corporation to let them know about my concerns about their flippant way of dealing with issues that are extremely important and not funny for millions of adoptees and their families in this country and around the world.

Easter Sunday (Domingo de Pascoa)

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-04-08T18:03:00Z

Easter Sunday (Domingo de Páscoa)

On Sunday (April 8th), the three of us headed to Mt. Kisco to join Joe's extended family in celebration of Easter. Of course, early in the morning, Sara was all ready to go to church, dressed on her first Easter dress, beautiful as always! Click on the picture to see a lot more photos.

Em Português:

Domingo, dia 8 de Abril, fomos passear em Mt. Kisco, visitando a família do Joe para juntos comemorarmos a Páscoa. Antes do almoço, cedinho de manhã, Sara Olivia ficou toda chique em seu primeiro vestido de Páscoa, pronta para irmos à igreja. Clique na foto para ver outras fotos da festa.

Para ver as fotos sobre este tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Happy Easter, Uncle Frank!

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-04-08T18:02:00Z

Emilia's first birthday party

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-03-31T20:00:00Z

Emilia's Birthday Party

On Saturday (March 31st), the three of us headed to Mt. Kisco to celebrate our niece Emilia's first birthday. The party was awesome and Sara had a great time! Uncle Jean was busy with his film camera, and because of that there aren't that many pictures to see. You can't read the book, but the movie is out there! Click on the picture to see a lot more photos.

From Emilia's Birt...

Em Português:

Sábado, dia 31 de Março, participamos da festa do primeiro aniversário de nossa sobrinha Emilia. A festa foi muito legal e Sara se divertiu bastante. Desta vez, o Tio Jean usou a filmadora e por isso não tirou muitos retratos. Clique na foto para ver outras fotos da festa.

Para ver as fotos sobre este tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Celebrating our nephew Ryan's 3rd Birthday

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-03-18T17:05:00Z

Ryan's birthday and more

On Sunday (March 18), the three of us headed to Connecticut to join Ryan on his special day celebration. King Ryan is now 3 years old! Ryan's home was filled with cheers from his friends, his sister Alyssa and his cousins Emilia and Sara. Ryan lives in Danbury with his parents and his sister. Click on the picture to see a lot more photos.

Em Português:

Domingo, dia 18 de Março, fomos passear no estado de Connecticut, para comemorar junto ao Ryan em ocasião de seu dia especial. O Rei Ryan fez 3 anos! Sua casa estava repleta de alegria, com a energia dos amigos, dos avós paternos, dos tios corujas, da irmã mais velha Alyssa, e das primas Emilia e Sara. Ryan mora em Danbury com seus pais e sua irmã. Clique na foto para ver outras fotos da festa.

Para ver as fotos sobre este tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Sara Olivia is SEVEN months old today!

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-03-07T16:50:00Z

From Sara Olivia on her 7-month birthday

Today (March 7, 2007) Sara turns 7-months old! We just can't believe how time passes by so quickly. We took the opportunity today for another photo section with Arlequin Bear. This bear has been a part of Sara's photo section since month number 2, and it serves as a comparison guideline on Sara's growth and development.

Em Português:

Hoje, dia 7 de Março de 2007, é o aniversário de Sétimo Mês da Sara. Já pensou! O tempo realmente passa muito depressa! Hoje, como em todos os meses anteriores, foi dia de tirar retrato com o Urso Arlequim. O urso tem sido parte dos aniversários mensais da Sara desde o segundo mês, e serve como base na hora de comparar o crescimento e desenvolvimento da Sara.

Sara Olivia is now 7 months old!

MORE PHOTOS! -- To view the photos about this topic, just click on the picture (above). To view our web album with lots of additional photos, just see the menu on left for "Sara Olivia's Photos", or go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

MAIS FOTOS! -- Para ver as fotos sobre este tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Splashing away early in the morning...

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-03-03T13:44:00Z

From Sara's Bathtub fun (click on photo for more pictures)

Em português: Sara tomando banho bem cedo de manhã, com a ajuda do Papai Joe. Olha só como o cabelo dela fica todo enroladinho após o banho! Para ver as fotos, basta clicar na foto acima ou aqui mesmo:!

Se você desejar receber um e-mail automático, com notificações sobre novas postagens aqui neste blog, basta colocar seu endereço de e-mail no campo "Subscribe to Blog", no menu do lado esquerdo, escolha a opção "blog" ou "entry" (site completo ou apenas este tópico), e depois clique no botão "subscribe". Assim, você fica sendo assinante do blog e sempre que tiver fotos novas você recebe um e-mail automático de aviso!

Playtime on the crib

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-03-02T01:19:00Z

From Sara on her Crib
Sara Olivia this morning was all about playing inside her crib. Now that she can seat without the help of pillows, bumbo or daddy and papa, Sara is enjoying her toys from a different angle. She is mischeveous and loves the colors and noises that comes out from theses little thingies! This photo shoot also brings a ton of photos of her first two teeth.
To view the photos about this topic, just click on the picture (above). To view our web album with lots of additional photos, just see the menu on left for "Sara Olivia's Photos", or go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Em Português:

Agora que a Sara pode sentar sozinha, ela adora ficar no berço, brincando com uma infinidade de coisinhas coloridas e barulhentas. Parece até que ela se diverte com o novo ângulo dos brinqueiros, um ponto-de-vista diferente de quando ela brincava deitada. Neste foto de álbum, há muitas fotos da Sara com seus dois primeiros dentinhos.

Para ver as fotos sobre este tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

New Rochelle restaurant puts gay-marriage photos back up

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-03-01T23:10:00Z

NEW ROCHELLE - A planned protest rally became a lunch of thanksgiving yesterday at a local Cosi sandwich shop, where advocates of same-sex marriage were allowed to keep their photos on display after all.

The fashionable chain restaurant had welcomed an exhibit of family snapshots collected by the Empire State Pride Agenda in lobbying for same-sex marriage rights. A day later, the group was asked to take the photos down. The local manager cited complaints from the public, and the corporate office blamed a glitch in company procedures.

That discrepancy didn't seem to matter yesterday as the photos - a collection of smiling portraits matted on 35 rainbow-colored pages - were being arranged on the walls again. Activists, clergy members and local residents held a news conference outside to explain their argument for giving gays and lesbians the right to legally marry in New York. When everyone had spoken, they went inside and had lunch.

"Marriage, to my family, means everything," said Carolina Cordero Dyer of White Plains, whose twin 2-year-old children were at her side in a stroller. "Just like everyone else, I worry about paying the bills, I worry about my kids' education, I worry about health care. Without marriage, all of those things that we all worry about are harder."

Dyer said she married Claudia Glaser in Canada and completed a second-parent adoption of their children, whom Glaser gave birth to. An entry in the photo display had pictures of the four of them with the words, "Marriage, Love, Commitment, Family."

"We really chose Westchester because we wanted our kids to grow up in a community that valued and respected them. And we believe that Westchester is that community, and we love living here," she said. "We're your neighbors. We're your friends. We're your family."

The photos will be on display for a month, then compiled into a statewide "family photo album" intended to show the human faces behind a divisive political issue. New York does not offer same-sex couples the legal right to get married. Neighboring New Jersey, Connecticut and Vermont offer civil unions. Only Massachusetts allows same-sex marriage.

Mary Jane Karger of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network said gays and lesbians still faced "invisibility" in the schools, "just like Cosi had considered making it an invisibility here."

She said the family photos could give hope to students who feel alienated because of their sexual orientation.

For the most part, speakers did not dwell on the controversy but thanked Cosi instead.

Diana Wilkins of the Empire State Pride Agenda signed a liability and insurance agreement with Cosi to display the artwork from Feb. 24 to March 26. But Regional Vice President Robert Speirs said the approval did not go through the right channels, and that triggered the removal request. He said the company's aim is not to judge the artwork but to present it appropriately - in frames, for example. The photos were professionally matted but not framed.

He was in the restaurant discussing the design of the display, recommending that the pages be hung in clusters rather than the original straight line.

"We are a company that does the right thing. If you've been a fan of Cosi, you've always known that we're very cutting edge," he said. "We're very hip, and that's our success."

At least one local customer said she'll be giving up Cosi's salads and other offerings until the exhibit comes down.

"What offends me is that they're fighting for normalcy, they're fighting for approval, they're fighting for acceptance, and those of us who disagree with this issue of homosexuality - that's never going to happen," Jeanne Sparks said.

"It's a political agenda. It may be legal, but I think it's not appropriate," she said. "It could be offensive and disrespectful to the people who are raising their children to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman."

Jeff Weinstein said his hometown of New Rochelle always celebrated its diversity, "but I didn't always feel that as a gay person in this city, that my community recognized or acknowledged me as being part of that diversity.

"I hope that more people from our community will come and really understand just what this is about. That it's not about all the rhetoric. That it's about regular people."

As for the food, Weinstein said he was enjoying it a little more now.

"It tastes better today than it did last night," he said.

Reach Leah Rae at lrae@lohud.com or 914-694-3526.

Cosi Restaurant Pulls Family Photo Album. Tell Them How You Feel!

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-02-28T03:28:00Z
Source: Empire State Pride Agenda

Since the first of the year, our Marriage Ambassadors and many other marriage equality supporters throughout New York have been creating and exhibiting LGBT Family Photo Albums to educate their local communities about our families. The album in Hudson Valley is 35 pages long and yesterday it was unveiled at Cosi restaurant in New Rochelle with an beautiful opening reception with almost 40 people in attendance. The Journal News, the daily newspaper in Westchester County, did a great write-up of the album and publicized the fact that Cosi would be displaying the pages. The album, which is being displayed with all 35 of its pages blown up and hung gallery-style, was scheduled to be on display for a month at Cosi.

Today, however, one of our field organizers got a call from the manager of the restaurant asking her to TAKE IT DOWN! He said that his corporate supervisors had received numerous emails complaining about it. We need to have a quick and LOUD response to this quick capitulation by Cosi corporate!

Here are 3 steps you can take RIGHT NOW to respond to this:

Email Cosi corporate and tell them that you are upset they caved in to anti-gay family sentiments that represent a minority of those who live in Westchester County. Ask them to keep the exhibit up for the month they promised to exhibit it. If you have a Cosi near you, mention that you won’t be eating there if they allow the exhibit to be taken down!! Click here to email them.

If you are in the Hudson Valley or New York City area, COME TO A PRESS CONFERENCE TOMORROW AT 11:30AM AT COSI, as we take down the exhibit. We want to make sure that we have as many people as possible to make a big statement to the press. We’ll meet in front of the Cosi at 77 Quaker Ridge Rd. New Rochelle, NY 10804 We need couples, families with children, clergy members, union members and everyone to show that there’s broad community support to keep this display up!

If you live close to the New Rochelle restaurant, call the Cosi and let them know that you strongly support the exhibit and plan on coming to see it, and it would be terrible if it came down!! The number is: 914-637-8300

Valentine's Day 2007

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-02-14T18:26:00Z

From Valentine's Day
Today is Valentine's Day and Sara Olivia had a lot of fun with the Chocolate Box. Literally. Daddy and Papa made sure to eat all the candy first. But who knew an empty box can go an extra mile with a 6-month old!
To view the photos about this topic, just click on the picture (above). To view our web album with lots of additional photos, just see the menu on left for "Sara Olivia's Photos", or go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Em Português:

Hoje comemora-se o equivalente ao Dia dos Namorados aqui nos EUA, e a Sara divertiu-se bastante com a caixa de bombons. Caixa, literalmente. Antes, os papais gulosos trataram de esvaziar a caixa, comendo os doces deliciosos. Mas quem poderia imaginar que uma caixa vazia seria capaz de proporcionar tanta felicidade à uma menina de 6 meses de idade?

Para ver as fotos sobre este tópico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Sara Olivia's first eye exam

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-02-13T18:00:00Z

Aye, 'twas a fine eye exam!

This afternoon Sara visited her pediatrician for her 6-month exam. On the menu, a very fun eye exam and a couple of not-fun-at-all immunization shots. As usual, Sara received a full bill of health and forgot all about those painful shots minutes afterwards.

The eye exam also brought excellent results and, as one may expect, this brings us concerned fathers a lot of relief!
To view the photos, just click on the picture (above). To view our web album with lots of additional photos, just see the menu on left for "Sara Olivia's Photos", or go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Em Português:

Hoje a Sara fez a visita de 6 meses ao pediatra. No menu du jour, um divertido exame optico e também algumas vacinas nada divertidas. Como de costume, está tudo bem com a saúde da Sara e mais uma vez ela passou no exame! Apesar de chorar muito na hora de levar a injeção, minutos depois ela já nem se lembrava mais do ocorrido, rindo muito e fazendo bolhas.

A Sara também passou no exame optico e, naturalmente, isto traz a nós, os pais, uma tranquilidade tremenda!

Para ver as fotos e um filmezinho do exame optico, simplesmente clique na foto acima, ou visite o album de fotos da Sara em http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Sara and Alyssa first sleep-over

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-02-10T18:43:00Z

Alyssa's Sleep-Over (Feb 9-10, 2007)
Sara's cousin Alyssa is spending this whole Saturday with us in our home. Alyssa arrived last evening for her first sleep-over with Sara. Here's a few photos of them.
To view the photos, just click on the picture (above) or copy and paste this link on your web browser: http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07. You need a Google account (free) to view these pictures.

Sara Olivia is 6-months old today

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-02-07T20:41:00Z

Six Months Old!

We can't believe that our daughter Sara Olivia is already six months old (as of today, February 7, 2007).

A lot has happened in these 6 months and we still want to use this space to register her adoption story. But the days seem shorter and we're very busy (happily busy!) taking care of our Sara.

Here's a few photos of her taken earlier today:
To view the photos, just click on Sara's picture (above) or copy and paste this link on your web browser: http://picasaweb.google.com/jeancharles07

Sara Olivia na Revista Crescer

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-02-01T17:32:00Z
Este artigo, escrito por Thais Lazzeri, foi publicado na Revista Crescer (versão online) da editora Globo. O texto contém algumas inverdades sem importância, por isso resolvi postar aqui no blog uma versão corrigida:

Depoimento extra: Adoção rápida

Edição 158 - Jan/07

A discussão sobre os novos formatos das famílias, especialmente a que inclui pais homossexuais vem crescendo no mundo todo. Nos Estados Unidos, o debate ganhou destaque com a notícia da suposta gravidez de Mary Cheney, filha do vice-presidente dos Estados Unidos, Dick Cheney, que é homossexual assumida e vive há anos com sua companheira. Crescer conversou com Jean Charles de Oliveira, brasileiro, e Joe Scappaticci, norte-americano, casados e pais de Sara Olivia, 4 meses. Conheça um pouco da vida desta nova família.

'Casamos em maio de 2004 no estado de Massachusetts, único nos Estados Unidos onde a união entre pessoas do mesmo sexo é legalizada. Foi lá também que nasceu Sara, nossa filha. Entramos com o pedido de adoção e logo fomos contatados. Ela nasceu em 7 de agosto, e nós fomos avisados em 28 de julho. Tivemos dois dias para ir até a maternidade e arrumar a casa para receber o bebê, que viria direto para cá. Parece muito rápido, mas só depois de nove anos juntos é que amadurecemos a idéia e nos preparamos para recebê-la. Sabíamos que um dia formaríamos uma família. [Correções: a) Massachusetts é o único estado que permite o Casamento entre pessoas do mesmo sexo, porém alguns outros estados oferecem União Civíl ao invés de Casamento; b) Passamos dois dias na maternidade com a Sara, e depois tivemos que esperar mais uns 12 dias para a liberação dos documentos, e somente depois recebemos autorização para ultrapassar as fronteiras estaduais com a Sara e voltar para Nova Iorque, pois aqui as leis de adoção são deveres dos estados. Mesmo assim, a Sara esteve sob o nosso cuidado desde suas primeiras horas de vida.]

Clique para ampliar

Quando a Sara chegou, a casa parecia um centro de convenções. Era gente chegando, presentes empilhados. Desde então tem chá de bebê todo mês. No terceiro, ganhamos um bolo de fraldas (foto). Eu não sei se é novidade, mas nunca tinha visto um. É um bolo não comestível que parece um bolo de casamento, todo montado com fraldas descartáveis e decorado com coisinhas que neném precisa, como pasta de dente, escova de cabelo, alfinetes, lacinhos, óleo, etc. Ainda não tivemos a coragem de desmontá-lo, mas sempre que precisamos de algum produto a gente rouba do bolo.

Nos dividimos em turnos para cuidar dela. Eu até as quatro horas da tarde e o Joe até a hora em que ela vai dormir. Preparei um diagrama diário e fiz cópias para todo o mês. Toda vez que ela mama ou troca a fralda, eu marco no diagrama o horário, bem como a quantidade de leite que ela mamou e que tipo de fralda trocou (molhada ou suja). Se o Joe chega em casa e eu tenho de sair as pressas, é só ele olhar no diagrama que tá tudo lá. A planilha fica na mesa da cozinha e assim não esquecemos de preencher.

Nossos amigos comemoraram esta vitória. Mas sinto um pouco de preconceito por parte de algumas mulheres, que fazem piadas a nosso respeito ou acham que não vamos conseguir cuidar da Sara, por sermos homens. Ouço tudo, porque às vezes é só para ajudar mesmo. Sabíamos que poderia acontecer. Mas cada instante com Sara faz tudo isso valer a pena. Ela nos trouxe alegria. Nosso objetivo é cuidar desta menina e fazê-la feliz.'

Fotos: Arquivo pessoal

Two moms, two dads

JoeJeanCharles — 2007-01-06T00:39:00Z

This article originally appeared in the January-February 2001 issue of the Children's Advocate newsmagazine, published by Action Alliance for Children.

When young children ask us questions about gay and lesbian families, we can give age-appropriate and support explanations

By Claudia Miller

For many parents of young children, it comes as a shock when their child comes home asking questions about a classmate's homosexual parents. But today questions about "nontraditional" families are inevitable.

It is estimated that only 28 percent of U.S. households now have married parents raising their own biological children, according to the producers of That's a Family, a documentary film featuring children talking about different types of families. One million children or more have parents who will divorce this year, 1.4 million are being raised by grandparents, 500,000 are with foster parents, and 1 million have adoptive parents. Many of the 2.3 million interracial couples have children. Six to 10 million children have lesbian, gay, or bisexual parents.

Rather than stammer a quick reply or change the subject entirely, parents can address children's questions in an open, supportive manner, say gay and lesbian parents and experts on the issue. Their suggestions include:

Think about your own values beforehand. Don't allow your child's first curious questions to catch you off-guard, says Lynnette Sperber, whose husband, Larry, is president of the Los Angeles chapter of Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG). "Many parents worry that if they talk about gay people in front of their children, it's giving them permission to be gay," she adds. "But it's not a choice that people make. We are who we are."

Help your child get to know different kinds of families. For parents in the San Francisco Bay Area or areas with large populations of "out" gay and lesbians, it's fairly easy to introduce kids to different types of families, says Jon Logan, a gay father who founded Our Family, a Bay Area-based networking group of 325 gay and lesbian families. "Then it just becomes a normal fact of life.The earlier they're exposed, the more likely that later on it doesn't become an issue."

Use books and videos to introduce children to family diversity. In areas where gay parents might not be so open, parents and teachers can use books to "normalize" lesbian and gay families. Online booksellers make it easy to find books that might not be available at the mall.

In addition, organizations for lesbian and gay families maintain resource lists for parents (see box). Women's Educational Media, a San Francisco nonprofit, has created two films addressing family diversity. That's a Family, for school-age children, stars children talking about single-parent families, multiracial families, divorce, adoption, and gay and lesbian families. It's Elementary is for adults working with children and looking to address gay and lesbian issues.

Describe other families by talking about your own. Gregg Casein, a San Francisco gay father with an 11-year-old daughter, says, "If a child asks about a friend who has two dads, the parent can say, 'well, Gregg and David love each other the way Mommy and Daddy love each other.' Using their own family as an example helps because David, Breauna, and I do consider ourselves a family just like every other family."

Talk about love, not sex. Typically when a child asks about her friend's two dads, she's not thinking about the bedroom, says Adele Starr, the founder and first president P-FLAG in Los Angeles. "More often than not kids, especially young children, want a simple explanation."

Felicia Parks-Rogers is executive director of Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere, (COLAGE), which offers workshops, e-mail discussion groups, and family activities. "There's this misconception that homosexuality is all about sex," she says. "What it really boils down to is who we love. How we love them is more complex and young children usually aren't ready for that."

Explain that babies come to families in different ways. Children, though, are naturally curious about where babies come from. "Rather than talking about a man and a woman making a baby together, it's okay to say to young children that babies come in lots of different ways. Some parents can't make a baby together, so there are different ways for them to have a baby," Parks-Rogers adds.

Bring the words "gay" and "lesbian" out of the closet. It's very important, most gay and lesbian parents feel, to identify people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender using exactly those words. "These words just can't be used in a whisper because kids tend to take that out of context as a ?bad' word," says Casein. "It's amazing to us the number of people in Breauna's school who won't voice the word ?gay' for fear that it's an insult to us. But words that aren't said on a regular basis in the home, in a full voice, or aren't used at all, are seen as bad by children."

Encourage preschool and elementary school teachers to talk about different types of families. Mindy Spatt, a lesbian mother with a daughter in second grade in San Francisco, says it's especially important for straight parents to encourage teachers to talk about diversity. "No one seems to question that it's important for young children to see their own experiences reflected in school," she said, "but it seems okay to exclude gay and lesbian issues. Although I tell the teacher what I'd like to see, I think it would be great for teachers to hear the same thing from a straight parent: 'When you are doing lessons about families, I'd like my child to learn about different types of families.'"

Respond immediately when children use negative words about gays. Even as young as kindergarten, says Sperber, "Kids may not know what it means, but they're using words like 'fag' and 'faggot' out on the playground. If the teachers don't know how to deal with this, it can really become a problem," she said. "A teacher should be comfortable saying, 'those words are not okay to use,' then open up a discussion of hurtful words. But many teachers are uncomfortable because they're worried about straight parents being angry."

My parents are gay

Comments from kids

"Sometimes it's hard to tell people that my moms are lesbians because sometimes they don't understand."

"People at my school know my mom is gay and they know that my moms love me a lot and know we have fun with each other. There are lots of kids with gay parents but they don't want anyone to know because they think someone is going to make fun of them."

"My dads are gay and gay means when two men or two women love each other. It's sort of like having a mom and dad who love each other except it's a man and a man or a woman and a woman."

"It's really cool to have two gay dads because they brought us into a home and they adopted us and they love us."

"The only hard thing about having two moms is that sometimes kids use mean words for gays and lesbians and that hurts my feelings. I wish they knew it was OK to have two moms and it's OK to be different."

—Children appearing in the new video That's a Family

Resources

Parents looking for books that reflect a variety of families can search general web sites, such as Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

Other sources of information:

COLAGE, Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere, which has chapters nationwide and internationally, can be reached at (415) 861-KIDS or www.colage.org

P-FLAG, Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, can be reached at (202) 467-8180.

Some recommended children's books:

Heather Has Two Mommies, by Leslea Newman

Daddy's Roommate, by Michael Willhoite

Who's in a Family, by Robert Skutch

Do I Have a Daddy? A Story About a Single-Parent Child, by Jeanne Warren Lindsay

Resources for parents and teachers:

Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice, by Caryl Stern-LaRosa and Ellen Hofheimer Bettman, published by the Anti-Defamation League, looks at racism, anti-Semitism and homophobia.

Preventing Prejudice is an age-appropriate, gay-positive curriculum for grades K-5 by Teaching for Change, (800) 763-9131, www.teachingforchange.org

That's a Family and It's Elementary, videos by Women's Educational Media, (415) 641-4616

This is Rufus

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-12-19T00:22:00Z
This is our Yorkshire Terrier, Rufus. He is very gentle with Sara.

Click here to enlarge picture

Sara and Santa

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-12-18T11:57:47Z

Sara Olivia on her very first photo with Papai Noel (Santa Claus)

Click here to see larger picture

Great video!

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-12-16T17:40:52Z
I just love this video!

Also available here:
http://rvincoletto.multiply.com/video/item/88

Sara's First Thanksgiving

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-11-25T17:24:18Z

Sara Olivia on her first Thanksgiving, dressed up and wearing a bib, ready to gobble gobble!

Click here to enlarge this picture.

Two Brazilian gay men adopt girl

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-11-24T16:48:00Z

A judge in Brazil has ruled in favour of allowing two gay men to adopt a five-year-old girl in a landmark case in the state of Sao Paulo.

One man, Vasco Pedro da Gama, had already adopted the girl. The name of his partner, Junior de Carvalho, was then added to the birth certificate.
Gay women have been granted adoption rights twice before, but this is the first time they have been given to men.
Correspondents say the ruling will not necessarily apply outside Sao Paulo.

But it is part of a wider relaxation of the traditionally strict laws on homosexual rights in Brazil, they say.
The couple's lawyer said that they hoped the case would now make it harder for judges to deny adoption to gay men in the future.
The girl, Theodora, had been living with her adoptive parents since last December, at which point Mr da Gama took the legal steps to adopt her as a single parent.
The two men had been in a relationship for the last 14 years and started thinking about adopting back in 1998, Brazil's Globo newspaper reports.
"If they had tried to adopt as a couple, probably Theodora would not be with them now," the lawyer added.

Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/americas/6174438.stm
Published: 2006/11/22 18:54:28 GMT
© BBC MMVI

Boo!

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-10-31T23:39:02Z
Boo!

Sara in her very first Halloween costume

New Jersey court recognizes right to same-sex unions

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-10-25T22:31:00Z

TRENTON, New Jersey (CNN) -- The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that the state's constitution gives gay and lesbian couples all the rights of married heterosexual couples.
But the court left it to the state legislature to decide what to call the relationship.
It gave lawmakers 180 days to either include gay and lesbian couples in the state's existing marriage laws or grant those rights under the title civil unions.
The decision mirrors the one made in 1999 by Vermont's highest court, which allowed gay and lesbian couples all the rights of marriage but left it to the legislature to decide how to grant them.
The next year the Vermont Legislature chose to call such relationships civil unions, and a firestorm of controversy ensued around the country.
In its 4-3 ruling, the New Jersey court said, "The issue is not about the transformation of the traditional definition of marriage, but about the unequal dispensation of benefits and privileges to one of two similarly situated classes of people."
Lawyers for the seven New Jersey gay and lesbian couples in the case had argued that the New Jersey Constitution's guarantee of liberty and equality allows them to marry.
The plaintiffs' lawyers said that for gay and lesbian couples to have true equality the institution must bear the same name.
Opponents fear the national impact of the decision because New Jersey currently imposes no residency requirements for people to be married in the state.
They worry that gay couples from around the country will come to the state, create unions and go back and challenge their home state laws.
"This is a repeat of what happened in Vermont," said Matt Daniels of Alliance for Marriage, which supports a federal constitutional amendment barring marriages between people of the same sex.
"They took the future of marriage out of the hands of the people of New Jersey. They are holding a gun to the head of the legislature of New Jersey and saying pick between two bullets -- one that allows civil unions and one that allows marriage."
In its decision, the New Jersey court said the state Constitution demands that "committed same-sex couples must be afforded on equal terms the same rights and benefits enjoyed by opposite-sex couples under the civil marriage statutes.
"The name to be given to the statutory scheme that provides full rights and benefits to same-sex couples, whether marriage or some other term, is a matter left to the democratic process."
The court said the state's existing Domestic Partnership Act, similar to one adopted in several other states, including California, doesn't go far enough in protecting the rights of gay couples.
"The Domestic Partnership Act has failed to bridge the inequality gap between committed same-sex couples and married opposite-sex couples," the court said.
"Significantly, the economic and financial inequities that are borne by same-sex domestic partners are also borne by their children.
"Further, even though same-sex couples are provided fewer benefits and rights by the act, they are subject to more stringent requirements to enter into a domestic partnership than opposite-sex couples entering a marriage."
The issue of gay marriage has roiled American politics for over a decade.
The debate intensified in 2004 when Massachusetts became the first and only state to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry. The state does not allow nonresidents to marry there, however.
Afterward, six other states granted same-sex couples most marriage rights, under the terms civil union or domestic partnership.
Massachusetts marriages are not recognized by the federal government or 45 other states that have laws banning same-sex marriages.
The issue won't end with the New Jersey decision.
On November 7, voters in eight states will decide whether to amend their constitutions to ban gays from marrying. Court challenges in four states seek the right to marry.
Among the New Jersey couples that filed the lawsuit are Episcopal pastors Mark Harris and Denis Winslow. They said each of them has performed so many weddings they've lost count, but the wedding they dream of attending is their own.
"We see it as a civil right that we're denied," Winslow said. "Even though we pay first-class taxes, we are treated as second-class citizens. We don't have that freedom to exercise our relationship in a practical way, dare I say, spiritual way."

Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/25/gay.marriage/index.html

O que é Adoção em Aberto

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-10-23T03:24:00Z

Não sei se no Brasil já existe um termo para "Open Adoption", ou seja, "Adoção Aberta", ou "Adoção em Aberto".

Adotamos nossa filha usando esta opção ao invés de "closed adoption" (adoção fechada, em segredo). Através da adoção em aberto, a mãe biológica de nossa filha será sempre bem-vinda para manter contato e receber fotos da nossa filha até ela atingir 18 anos de idade. De vez em quando (uma ou duas vezes por ano), vamos todos nos encontrar em um local público, um shopping ou parque. Nossa filha vai crescer sabendo tudo sobre sua adoção e sua família biológica.

O motivo da adoção em aberto é para o benefício da criança, que terá melhores chances de crescer sem traumas psicológicos por ser adotada. Ao crescer conhecedo sua mãe biológica, ela provavelmente não vai sentir-se abandonada ou rejeitada pela família de nascença, não vai passar noites em claro imaginando o paradeiro de sua mãe biológica, além de outros beneficios, tais como conhecer seus irmãos e primos biológicos (se estes vierem a existir) ou até mesmo receber ou doar um transplante de órgão (caso houver necessidade).

A Adoção Em Aberto é também uma forma de compaixão para os pais biológicos, pois estes na maioria das vezes amam muito seus filhos mas não têm como cuidar e sustentar, e escolhem a adoção como o melhor para seus filhos acima de seus próprios interesses.

Durante o processo de adoção, quem escolhe quem vai adotar o bebê são os pais biológicos, através de um catálogo de fotos e uma carta auto-biografada pelos futuros pais adotivos. A agência de adoção facilita este encontro entre os pais biológicos e adotivos, e os candidatos são escolhidos a dedo pela agência de acordo com as respostas de uma entrevista detalhadamente elaborada, mais ou menos como uma agência casamenteira. Ambos os pais biológicos e adotivos são entrevistados, e quanto mais compatibilidade nas respostas, maiores chances para uma adoção de sucesso. Meses antes deste encontro, porém, a agência oferece tratamento psicológico e emocional para os pais biológicos (na maioria das vezes mães jovens e solteiras). A Adoção em Aberto também pode ser feita particularmente, sem uso de uma agência adotiva, basta que todas as partes envolvidas no processo estejam dispostas a participar.

Nossa História

Tivemos uma experiência incrível aqui nos EUA. Nosso processo burocrático demorou entre fevereiro de 2006 e meados de julho de 2006 (isso incluiu a papelada pela corte do Estado de Nova Iorque, visitas a nossa casa pela assistente social, e preparação do book com nossas fotos e biografia, exames médicos, advogados, juiz de família, impressões digitais, etc etc) . Só depois desta aprovação é que nosso book entra no catálogo de candidatos para ser analisado pelas grávidas considerando adoção para seus bebês. A agência nos avisou que poderia levar entre 1 à 3 anos de espera para sermos escolhidos. Apesar da agência ter outros 50 clientes que chegaram antes de nós, não há uma fila de espera oficial de acordo com a chegada cronológica à agência, pois os candidatos são escolhidos pelas mães biológicas. E foi assim que um milagre aconteceu na última semana de Julho de 2006, quando fomos os escolhidos pela Liz, a mãe biológica da nossa filha -- apenas alguns dias depois da papelada ter sido aprovada pela corte de NY e pela agência.

Liz já estava com parto previsto para o dia 1 de Agosto. Não havia muito tempo para desenvolvermos uma amizade, e conversamos muito pelo telefone. No dia 2 de Agosto, nos conhecemos pessoalmente e passamos uma tarde inteira juntos em um parque. Conversamos, mostramos fotos, contamos casos, perguntamos sobre o pré-Natal do neném. Tudo em ordem, tudo direitinho. Liz foi uma grávida responsável que cuidou de sua saúde e da saúde do bebê durante a gravidez. Inteligente, simpática, sensível e meiga, uma pessoa de alma bonita que não acredita em aborto. Mas ela, aos 23, não sentia-se preparada para ser mãe. Sem condições financeiras e com um emprego de salário humilde, ela ainda quer muito terminar o último ano de faculdade. Liz é garçonete em uma rede de restaurantes estilo fastfood e trabalhou até momentos antes de entrar em trabalho de parto.

No dia 6 de Agosto, tarde da noite de domingo, Liz entrou em trabalho de parto e sua mãe nos telefonou a caminho da maternidade. Saímos em disparada no meio da noite, e chegamos às 2 da madrugada no hospital (3 horas de carro de onde moramos). Nossa filha Sara Olivia nasceu às 4:15 da manhã de uma segunda feira. Ficamos num hotel próximo ao hospital e passamos a maioria do tempo no quarto da maternidade com Liz, Sara e sua família, além de alguns amigos de Liz que vieram visitá-la. Dois dias depois, Jane e seu namorado assinaram os papéis de renúncia da guarda da filha e a agência nos designou como os pais adotivos da Sara Olivia. Saimos do hospital com nossa filha no colo, um momento em nossas vida que marcou muito. Foi um sentimento incrível, inesquecível, e muito, muito emocionante, pois ao mesmo tempo que celebrávamos a chegada da Sara em nossas vidas, deixávamos para traz um ser humano chamado Liz. Nós nos abraçamos, e não foi possível conter as lágrimas. Durante o abraço de despedida, Liz sussurou ao meu ouvido, “eu amo vocês, e de agora em diante vocês são as minhas três pessoas favoritas em todo o mundo.” Ela depois repetiu o mesmo para meu esposo, Joe. Eu disse pra Liz, em seu ouvido, “a Sara vai sempre saber sobre você, e sobre seu gesto tão nobre.” Joe, disse pra ela: “I think the world of you” (que mais ou menos traduziria como “eu penso tudo que há de bom sobre você).

Hoje, a Sara tem 11 semanas de vida. Nossa família é uma família feliz e temos muito orgulho de nossa filha. Tanto os parentes do Joe, que moram aqui nos EUA, quanto minha família, que mora no Brasil, estão virando de felicidades com a chegada da Sara. Nossa casa vive cheia de gente e os parentes e amigos do Brasil curtem as fotos e videos pela internet. Mas ganhamos também uma terceira familia, a família da Liz. Somos muito gratos por termos sido os escolhidos por ela! Falamos com Liz uma vez por semana, por telefone, e enviamos fotos da Sara pelo e-mail. Liz tem sido muito meiga conosco, sempre cuidadosa para nao invadir nosso espaco, sempre nos respeitando como os pais e responsáveis pela Sara.

Vale a pena ressaltar que o processo de adoção ainda não terminou. Durante os seis primeiros meses depois do nascimento do bebê, a agência tem obrigação legal de investigar a família adotiva e preparar relatórios sobre nossa vida familiar, e só então recomendar ao Estado que a adoção se finalize. Portanto, daqui há uns 3 ou 4 meses vamos voltar ao fórum, em frente ao juiz, e só quando o juiz bater aquele martelo receberemos então a certidão de nascimento de nossa filha, contendo nossos nomes como sendo os pais definitivos, e nossos sobrenomes como sendo o sobrenome de nossa filha.

NOTAS IMPORTANTES:
-- O processo de adoção é diferente em cada caso, e existem vários níveis de relacionamento entre pais adotivos e pais biológicos, tudo depende das expectativas entre pais adotivos e pais biológicos (estes fatores são levados em conta antes mesmo da agência adotiva unir as duas partes).
-- Os detalhes burocráticos da nossa história foram omitidos para facilitar a leitura do texto acima. Para se ter idéia, três estados americanos foram envolvidos em nosso processo, e as leis de adoção são estaduais, portanto a burocracia foi triplicada.
-- Há riscos e certas considerações a serem tomadas, e passamos quatro anos lendo e estudando sobre o assunto antes de iniciar o processo. Há muita desinformação na internet, portanto aconselhamos a pesquisar também a credibilidade do autor e fonte de informação. Foi lendo e pesquisando que descobrimos sobre a Adoção em Aberto. Depois que esta possibilidade veio à tona, nenhuma outra forma de adoção fez sentido aos nossos olhos quando se levada em conta as necessidades da criança. Foi uma decisão tomada buscando proteger o melhor interesse da nossa filha, sem levar em conta nossos próprios interesses.
-- A Adoção em Aberto nem sempre é viável, pois infelizmente recém-nascidos ainda são abandonados no meio da noite em calçadas frias, e grávidas sem o apoio psicológico ou educação apropriada ainda pensam que adoção significa nunca mais ver ou receber notícias daquele filho ou filha deixado para trás no berço da maternidade, e esta mesma ignorância sobre o assunto ofusca a visão de muitos pais adotivos, que se recusam a imaginar qualquer tipo relacionamento com os pais bilógicos.
-- Nossa história é apenas uma em mais de 1,000 adoções em aberto realizadas pela agência adotiva que contratamos, Friends in Adoption (http://www.friendsinadoption.org).

-- Texto de Jean-Charles, pai coruja. Para entrar em contato comigo, visite meu blog: http://www.2dads.org

-- Escrito no Domingo, dia 22 de outubro de 2006

He has two fathers

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-10-21T13:44:00Z

This video, from youtube.com is a great song about a boy from Holland who is very proud of his two dads.

Available in English and Portuguese subtitles. Este vídeo, encontrado na youtube.com, é uma linda canção sobre um menino holandês que tem muito orgulho de seus dois pais. Disponível com legendas em Português e Inglês.

Jean and Sara at the Apple Store

JoeJeanCharles — 2006-10-15T19:51:05Z

Jean e Sara foram passear no shopping e tiraram este retrato na loja de computadores da Apple, na última quinta-feira dia 12 de Outubro.

2dads Blog

Oh wow! It has been so long!

A Merry Little Christmas (video)

Our 2008 Christmas Tree

We're looking to adopt our second child!

Florida Judge Rules Gay Adoption Ban Unconstitutional

Sara's Second Birthday

A visit to Sesame Place (Vila Sésamo)

Sara (and us) having fun at Rye Playland

Domingo no Park (Sunday at the Park)

Local same-sex couples and their children make the news

Checking out the snow (or a day at the mall)

State Court Recognizes Gay Marriages From Elsewhere

Superbowl Sunday Fun

Sara Olivia Youtube Player

Atirei o Pau no Gato (The Yellow Cat)

This little piggy went to the market

About this Blog

Visiting Brasil (part 2): The Photo Album

Visiting Brazil (part 1): Vamos a la playa!

Catching up

A short video about yesterday

Sara's adoption decree was signed today!

Playland fun

Explaining the Subscribe tool

Subscribe To Blog

Disney's Meet the Robinsons brings negative adoption message

Easter Sunday (Domingo de Pascoa)

Happy Easter, Uncle Frank!

Emilia's first birthday party

Celebrating our nephew Ryan's 3rd Birthday

Sara Olivia is SEVEN months old today!

Splashing away early in the morning...

Playtime on the crib

New Rochelle restaurant puts gay-marriage photos back up

Cosi Restaurant Pulls Family Photo Album. Tell Them How You Feel!

Valentine's Day 2007

Sara Olivia's first eye exam

Sara and Alyssa first sleep-over

Sara Olivia is 6-months old today

Sara Olivia na Revista Crescer

Depoimento extra: Adoção rápida

Edição 158 - Jan/07

Two moms, two dads

When young children ask us questions about gay and lesbian families, we can give age-appropriate and support explanations

By Claudia Miller

My parents are gay

Comments from kids

Resources

Other sources of information:

Some recommended children's books:

Resources for parents and teachers:

This is Rufus

Sara and Santa

Great video!

Sara's First Thanksgiving

Two Brazilian gay men adopt girl

Boo!

New Jersey court recognizes right to same-sex unions

O que é Adoção em Aberto

He has two fathers

Jean and Sara at the Apple Store